The Role of Love in Mental Health

By Sara de los Reyes

Love's a big word. 

It's an even bigger feeling.

Love's a choice, a remembrance, a gift, a shield, a superpower, a respite, an aspiration, a light. Within four letters and one crisp syllable, a whole world resides.

Countless spaces have been filled with attempts to give form and shape to love (with this article now being one of these attempts), yet in spite of this, love remains to be a deeply intimate experience that you and only you can define. Love is different yet the same for us in many ways, one of which is its protective role in our lives.

Think about it for a second.

How many times have you caught yourself feeling your worst-wanting to do regrettable things to others or yourself, seeing no point in trying to be otherwise? But the thought of someone's kindness, the memory of a satisfying conversation, or the desire to relive that one good afternoon compelled you to brush the dust off your knees and get back up, one foot at a time.

That's the feeling of love in motion, its hand gently pushing you in the right direction should you make a wrong turn. After all, no one is given a map to life and getting lost once, twice, thrice is inevitable. Love, then, can be your signpost and guide.

That's the thing about love and psychological health. Love is invisible and immeasurable, that's true, and it may be impossible to reduce to numerical data to prove its existence unlike other concepts in psychology, but that certainly doesn't make it any less real-or powerful.

Psychology is unique in this sense, as it is a science where it is perfectly acceptable to prescribe love as one of its treatments. It's not to be sappy or corny; it's to draw your attention to things like self-compassion, acceptance, non-judgmentalness, joy, humor, celebration, hope. Underlying all of these concepts and others is love-love for yourself, for others, for your work, for experience, for your present and your future, for life in all its complexities.

Self-love, for example, exists so we can develop positive mental and emotional habits for our own benefit. It allows us to:

• Choose ourselves and put our own needs first when necessary.
• Set boundaries by learning when to say "no" when we feel like our personal limits have been reached.
• Forgive ourselves for mistakes we've made, big and small.
• Give ourselves a break when times get tough.
• Celebrate our milestones and accomplishments.
• Practice positive, rather than negative, self-talk so that the little voice in our heads becomes much more understanding and much less mean.

Love for significant others, like our partners, families, and friends, is there so we can be a source of genuine support for them. It can help us to:

• Care for them, especially when their own challenges make it difficult for them to care for themselves.
• Remind them that they are valued and important if, or when, they feel small and forgotten.
• Empathize with them whenever possible, should they find themselves struggling with life at the moment.
• Teach them that although pain is an inextricable part of living, the joy that comes with it is enough to trump all the bad days.
• Provide them a non-judgmental space to talk and share as much (or as little) as they want about what's on their mind.

Love for one's craft or profession, and perhaps society as a whole, works to give us a sense of purpose and meaning. It's there so that we can:

• Connect with others in a much more profound way.
• Look forward to leaving behind a legacy in an organization, within our families, or in the field we work in.
• View our contributions to society as shared assets, versus simply personal gains.
• Feel a sense of fulfillment in knowing we created a life well-lived for ourselves, and for others.

Regardless of how you encounter, feel, and give love, it uplifts and heals. Ultimately, a healthy dose of love in our lives helps us reach and maintain a state of wellness.

Love is a big word and a big feeling, but it's also arguably one of the biggest steps to achieving mental health.

It's a small word that packs a punch, so never underestimate it. Give it a chance-whether this means practicing more self-love, loving others more and letting them love you, or finding new reasons to love what you do and humanity in its entirety-and see how it changes you, all for the better.