How to Deal with Heartaches

By Alyana Altamirano

It's that time of the year again and Valentine's Day is right around the corner. To some, this holiday is something to look forward to and really celebrate, but to others, it is a most dreaded holiday. For most singletons, this serves as a reminder of a love lost or a love that is yet to be found. Whichever group you belong to, this time of the year most certainly digs up heartaches whether old or new.

Dealing with heartaches is no easy feat. May it be from a breakup from a long-term relationship, a recent date who ghosted you, or a crush that does not like you back, it hurts nonetheless. Though there is no way of making sure that we won't get our hearts broken, these are some pretty helpful ways to get you through this rough patch:

Allow yourself to feel your emotions

When we get hurt, we often think that the easiest way to deal with it is to avoid it altogether. On the contrary, allowing ourselves to acknowledge what happened and feel our emotions can really help us to feel better in the long run. Oftentimes, crying it out is the first step to recovery. What might help with allowing the feelings to surface is binging on your favorite romance movies, listening to a breakup playlist, or even telling a confidante about what happened. However you want to let yourself feel, always remember that your feelings are valid.

Connect with other people

With the pandemic still raging on, this part might be a bit trickier than usual. Hanging out with friends and family would be the ideal setup for situations involving heartaches, but because of health and safety protocols, this option is restricted for now. However, thanks to online platforms like Zoom and Facebook, communicating with our loved ones is made easy. Giving your best buddies a call would certainly help with the negative feelings associated with your heartache. During emergencies of the heart, a good support system is a vital factor that would help you get through the crisis. Feeling loved by those we consider our inner circle reminds us that love can come from many different sources, not just from a romantic relationship.

Love yourself

Speaking of love from different sources, we must not forget the most important source of love - our love for ourselves. It is quite unfortunate that self-love is frequently taken for granted or even forgotten. Heartbreaks are oftentimes opportunities for us to connect with ourselves and to reframe our personal goals and expectations of ourselves. This is the time to take care of yourself even more than usual. Treat yourself to a good meal, go on a mini getaway trip with just you and your thoughts, buy that item that has been in your cart for the longest time, and just be kind to yourself while you nurse yourself back to feeling a hundred percent again.

Engage in a hobby

It's quite normal to want to think about what happened, but there's a fine line between processing what happened and dwelling on it. If you find yourself doing the latter, it's probably best to look for something to keep you busy. You can enroll in a class you've always been interested in, maybe go back to an old hobby of yours, or maybe start a passion project. Whichever you choose, the goal is to engross yourself in something that excites you. Not only would it keep your mind off of things, it would also allow you to feel a sense of accomplishment.

Find an outlet for your emotions

When we are brokenhearted, there is so much that we feel all at once. What might help with this internal turmoil is being able to channel all these emotions into an outlet. Starting a journal might help allow you to articulate the chaos you are feeling. If you are an artist then you might as well channel it into your artform. Write a poem about it, maybe even add some instrumentals and make a song out of it, or maybe paint your heart out. You can never go wrong with using your pain to create something beautiful. It is a perfect reminder that rainbows always appear once the rain is gone.

Take in one day at a time

Dealing with heartaches most of the time pushes you to either reminisce about what you had with your special someone or to pine over what could have been. Though understandable, it is unhelpful and even counterproductive to do so since you have no control over the past nor the future. What you do have control over, though, is the present. Allowing yourself to experience the here and now will allow you to feel grounded and even appreciate what you have now in your life instead of stressing over what is gone or has yet to come.

See a therapist

Sometimes, despite doing all the things mentioned above, you still feel overwhelmed. If you feel like your heartaches are beginning to be too much for you to handle, then maybe it's time to seek help from a mental health professional. Going to therapy would allow you ti have a safe space to process your thoughts and feelings about your experience. Contrary to popular belief, you do not need to be highly distressed to consult a therapist. Just like with our physical health, our mental health should also be monitored and cared for. Seeing a therapist is a good opportunity to learn new ways of coping with your heartache as well as other life issues you might have.

Whichever coping strategies you choose to deal with your heartaches, what matters is that you deal with it in a healthy way and always remember that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Though it may be hard to see right now how things will get better, know that as long as you hold onto hope, things will change for the better. One day, you will look back at what you are going through right now and everything will finally fall into place and make sense.